Hi. I'm back again after so long time. Well... let me start with my current life story. hmm.... i'm start working right now. it's about all retail industry. so far i'm quite satisfied with my job now and do not have any intend to switch my job to other company. i quite like my company eventhough sometimes i still will complaining abit. haha... its normal right? So i will try my hard to do my best in work. at least i need achieve something in my life. i dont want to do nobody in my life.
well... next. lets say about my love life. i do met some guys in my life but all of them is none of mine at all but no matter how hard i tried, they still couldn't see my goodness and always see my bad side. i really try my best and even act none like me at all. i felt so stupid when i think back what i did for them. i am so idiot. i'm always scold myself dont treat them so good because they dont even appreciate what have you done for them. but i still not wake up yet. So from now on, i will love myself only. No boyfriend and husband.

我也曾当过笨蛋
我也曾试着当瞎子
当聋子的去信任一个人

我也知道世界上最可悲的就是自我欺骗

但是
人笨过、傻过、瞎过，就够了
妳更要懂得爱自己
而不是一直重蹈覆轍
还自以为多痴情

《因为痛，所以叫爱情》

16.3.2013

Hi. I am back to refresh my blog after so long time. It's already March 2013. It's been past 2 months for year 2013. but till now still nothing miracle happen on me. When my Mr Right will appear in my life? I really need him so much.
Actually I have so much thing to say but I don't know where I should start first. Well, I'm 23 years old for this year. I know I am old at this age. I never thought I will reach 23 year old so fast and I never expect that I am still nothing at this age. No money, no fun life and so much. What am I doing right now? :(
I realize something in my life. Now i know that one life is really important and precious. because we always won't know what will happen on tomorrow or even next hour or minutes. Who can predict about it? Unless is God. So I decide that I will appreciate what I have right now, my family, my true friends, my dog, and everything that important in my life. I don't care anymore what others will say about me. I just want to be myself no matter what happen on me. because they is nobody for me.
Am I start old to pursue my true love now? Honestly, I never been true in love with someone. even he also is not my the one. He is just a passer by in my life only. Not a important people for me anymore. So I really hope my The One will come to me soon because I really want feel be loved and care by someone. He will do anything to make happy and always will stay beside me whenever I am sad and cry. :)

Happy new year 2013

Hi. It's been long time I did not update my blog. Happy New Year 2013 even though i know it's quite late. Hmm... no. It's very late.. Recently I was busy with my exam and I felt terrible with the exam so much. Honestly, I am so hate with exam. I think exam is ruining my life by wasting my time and i don't think it give me any benefit. ok. let's we don't talk about exam.
how about we talk what wish i list for this new year. First, I hope this new year I could find my love. I mean really true love. After the broke up, I had been single for 2 years. Actually, I want feel again being in love. I like the feeling being love by someone you trust. Everyday he will ask about you and care for you. He will always look after you and by your side when you need him so much. That's the feeling i want the most right now. I have been alone for so long time just because i still trust there are a guy is waiting for me. I put faith on it. I hope this year won't make me disappointed me again. Second, I hope I could make some money that enough for me to spend and treat my parents. I really hope I can gain money as much as possible so I can live in better life and give my parents good life too. I am 22 years old now but I still trap in what they said STUDENT LIFE! I hate being student. I don't want waste any time anymore. Third and final, I hope my family is stay healthy and safe all the time. I couldn't face any of my family is in danger or trouble. because I had been through 2 most painful and unforgettable incident that had took away my 2 dearest beloved people. They is my grandma and great-grandma. Every night I really hope I could see them in my dream. I still can feel the feeling that make me crying so badly. I miss them everyday.
that's all my wish list for this year 2013. I hope He could hear or see it. :)

Happy Birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU SIU MEI eventhough is late one day. Finally, you are 22 years old. I received a lot wishes from friends at facebook. But I don't know which 1 is sincere wishing me. On my birthday, I just goes through it like normal day. No cake and birthday song. Actually I really hope I can blow a candle on my birthday. I can't recall back when was my last time blowing candle. I mean is truly celebration from my family and close friends. I not even remember of it.

Final exam is coming soon. And like usual, I'm still in dreaming. anyway, I will try my best to answer my exam. Please... GOD bless me.

Finally, my wish for my birthday is I can get good result in my exam and hope I can meet my prince soon. That's all I wish for it. :)

.........

Why it is so difficult? I just want to live in simple life with simple happiness. Every friends is start avoiding me. They doesn't care about me anymore. There is still left 18 days before reach my birthday. This year, I still celebrate my birthday alone. I never expect very big celebration for me. I just wish I can have a simple dinner night with my family or close friends together with me. But I know it will never happen because they doesn't care about my everything. How I do can expect they will remember and celebrate my birthday. I am gonna step into 22 years old life. But I still feel I am doing nothing in my life for this long years. I am so sad and angry to myself. I start to give up.... I am really really really tired. I am tired. :(

想你

我还爱你。 你知道吗？我好好好好想你。。。

HAPPY DECEMBER!

Today is first day of December ( 1st December 2012). It is also last month for year 2012. Time really passed like a blink of eyes. Soon we will welcome a brand new year 2013 in 31 days left. I always ask myself. What I had done in my life in year 2012? Besides eat, sleep and play, what I have contribute to my life and society? I think nothing. Sometimes I really felt I am so useless person. I seen every of my friends is so successful in their life but I am still nothing. I already 22 year old and next year will be 23 years old. And I still don't know what I want. I am failure person.
This year Christmas, New Year and of course my Birthday, still celebrate alone by myself. Actually, I really want celebrate my birthday happily with my family and close friends. But I always don't have the chance to do it because I don't have close friends. I also want be like others hanging out with friends with fun, gossip-ing together, shopping together, flirting guys together... haha. I just don't have the chance. And I think I will never have the chance in my life.
I am so tired. I am tired to pretend someone who is not part of me. I want to be myself. I want to be Siu Mei again. I have been long time didn't have real laugh. I just want someone to comfort me and love me. I am still is a girl who have weak heart and fragile feeling. I also know how to cry. I am not strong as you think. :(
anyway, I hope this December month can make my wishes comes true. :) HAPPY DECEMBER!!

What is life?

What is life? I still trying to figure it out. Can I found my own life? :(

Busy busy busy!

Recently I was so rush with my tonnes of assignment. This would be my most busiest semester since I at university. Suddenly I cannot handle so much assignment at all. I need someone to share these works with me. Or maybe can comfort me. How's good is it if I have a boyfriend who can care and talk with me. But this I need to wait for long time. Hmm... I am gonna rush my assignment again right now. Bye. :)

Back to torture life..

Hi... I'm coming back blogging again. I have a lot things and feeling want to write in this blog. Firstly, my 2 months holiday is gone. I seem like did not doing anything during this holiday. Besides do the boring part time job, what else I was doing at the time? Ermm....  Had fun with my best friend. That's all I do during holiday. Am I seem like useless? I think yes...
Now I coming back to my ugly and disgusting university. Same routine again.... Sit in the room. Watch movies. Waiting time to eat and sleep. What else? No more.... This is my life. Luckily right now I am far away from my stupid friends. Finally, I no need facing them so much time. I really don't like see them. I hate to talk with them. forget them.....
What I hope now is I want leave this place as fast as I can. Everyday I am countdown the time till I finish my study at here. So I can back to KL forever. :) Please GOD.... Bless me~~ I beg you. Bless me everything is going smoothly. Thanks GOD!!

17th June 2012

I am crying now. I just wanna cry. I want cry out everything unhappy memories. Sometimes I really don't know what the reason I will crying. Maybe I am too tired to pretend strong. I am really tired. I really feel tired.......

14th June 2012

Today is 14th June 2012. Another boring day for me. I just had my dinner with Jia Wey at Changlun. Long time I didn't go to there. One word, CHEAP!! I hate this place so much.
By the way, there is have something bothering me so much. JOB!!! Now I really know how hard is it to find a job even a part time job. It's so troublesome. For a part time job, we also still need to have a interview with them. WTF!!! What for you want have a interview session?? Just give us a job and we will do it. Only that's simple. Why you need make it so hard?
Actually, I really need money so much. I really hope now I can strike grand prize for lottery. Money is really important for me. I can't live without money. Live poor is not fun and interesting at all. Without money, I can't do anything or buy things that I like. But now I almost broke because of I didn't manage my money. I suppose control my money and spend it wisely. Now feel regret is too late... I want money money money money money!!!!!!
Wong Siu Mei! Be tough again!!!

study!study!study! SHIT!!!

oh shit!!! I cannot read the finance book or slides at all. I am so moody right now!! I really cannot stand with this life anymore. I want back my normal life at KL. I do not want to stay at here anymore. I just wanna get back home only. I do not wish any good result because I know I am not a talented student at all. I am totally do not have interest in studies. I hate study!!! Every time I went to examination hall, I am just like dead people. I am totally do not have feeling and I do not know what I was writing in the answer sheet. Totally blank!!!! Please GOD~~ can you turn the time more faster? Can YOU make the time right now to next year June? Please.... and why I need study finance while I am not finance student?? Finance is shit!!!! arghhhh~~~~~ Be tough Wong Siu Mei!!!!! Be tough!!!!!! I know you can~~

1st of May 2012

hi... it is been long time I did not write my blog. This time I am back active!! Actually, for this moment I suppose doing my stupid assignment but due I am too lazy to do it, so I decide I want throw it away first and open my drama to watch... haha. Am I right? Yes, I think I am do it right. xD
I am not so satisfied for my mid term exam result. It's too terrible. I don't know what happen on me. I am still can't improve. But this is me. It's hard for me to change my attitude. Sometimes I really hate myself. I don't want become like this. I really feel so sad. Just forget it awhile. ;(
Tomorrow is his birthday. But I promise to myself that I won't send or write any wishing for him. Because he never think of me at all. Now he just happy with his cute and young girlfriend. I don't think he will excited for my wishing. Yes. I am still hate and angry to him. I still angry on what he done on me.. I will never forget about it. How can a guy can do such things to a girl? Don't he feel shame on himself??? He is such terrible guy in this world. I hate him so much!!!! >.<

wait for me HOME!!!!

WONG SIU MEI!!! what are you doing now?? you suppose open your operation book and read it because tomorrow is exam for it!!! oh my god~~ I really don't have any mood to study. What is in my mind is I just wanna go back home right now... I want back home!!! I don't want stay at here anymore. Please... Just let me go home. :( I hate study.. every time I face the book, i will headache. I hate look on those words.... it's sucK!!!! OMG...... I miss my home so much.... Please.... let me go. Set me free!!!! I really hope I am graduate right now. Home... please wait me till tomorrow. I will see you soon~~~~ I promise.... :)

BITCH AGAIN!!!

Actually today I went to support my senior for his handball match. Honestly, I really want go to support him because I want he know my goodness... but of course I won't go alone. So I called the Bitch go together. But the most I hate it is she never stop complaining. She kept complaining for whole journey we went to sport centre. OH MY GOD!!! That time she really annoyed me so much. I really want to ask her shut up!!!! But she still keep open her fucking mouth~~~ what's your problem bitch???? it's so hard for you go support your senior. You better don't forget that he was helping us a lot. this bitch really fucking annoying. You think I want asking you go there??? But I just treat you as idiot person only. FUCK!!!! You are really spoil my mood today!!!!! FUCKING BITCH!!!! >.<

Best friend

I got a lot of friends. Can say that is countless.... but for best friend? i think just few only... actually, not everyone is easy become my best friend. And of course I won't easy to treat them as my best friend. Maybe can say that not everyone can let me to trust. I hardly to trust someone if they doesn't show their sincerity and trustworthy for me. Sometimes I really try my best to make them as my friend... truly friend but everytime I tried.. is still failed. They hardly to let me put their trust on them. I am so sorry if I had hurt you all before but that is me. You need accept me who I am and I respect you as well you need respect me too. Or maybe sometimes something is happened on me... so I can't trust anyone right now. But I still do believe that I will meet and found my Best Friend Forever.... I still have a faith on it!!!! but now, of course I had one best friend.... and now I miss her right now... I miss those moment we hang out together and chit-chatting.... and find handsome guys together.... haha... I love her so much!!! thank you Vivian SOh... you are really brighten my life..... love you... xoxo

What is LOVE???

I always been hurt by LOVE~~~

Love.... I will never understand what it's really mean......

music is my SOULMATE~~

AT LaSt, oNlY mUSic aCCompanY mE gO tHourgh mY hArd anD sAd liFe.....

I LOVE MUSIC!!!

MUSIC IS MY SOULMATE~~~

:'(

I am still miss those moments with you. I just can't forget it. Do you know I am jealous when I saw your photo with your girlfriend?? Did you care about my feeling? Do you still care about me? You really hurt my heart... How could you just forget everything you done to me? Where is the promise that you made to me? Is it fake? Why every guys can be so realistic? Don't you just see inner heart than appearance? I know I am not such pretty girls that every guys will like but at least I will use my heart to love you. But how you repay to me? Why I am so stupid that still believe your words? Did you know I am still believe what you said to me few months ago? But now, you just can pretend nothing happen at all!!! That's why I said that guys word never can believe!!! Sometimes, I think am I too over blaming on you? Did I was doing wrong too? But what I am very sure that the most wrong thing I do is TRUST YOUR F***ING WORD!!!! I hope you don't ever appear in my life anymore. I wish do not want to know your life even what are you doing because you won't never appear in my life. Never!!!! I hate you!!!!! :'(