Oh God~~ What should I do now? I get fade up with my life. I just felt that my life no more colourful. All I got is black and white.. I need find back myself. But I don't know where I should start. I need some motivation. I also what happen to me recently. Actually I was thinking should I change my course now? I am not interested on this course at all. I want give up on it. I want learn what I like. I feel I am wasting my time now. I am waste my 3 years time with learning the course that I don't like. What should I do now? I am not a risk taker... I need some guide now. I want talk to someone but who willing to hear I talk? No one.. because I don't have true friends. They all just is faker for me. I can't accept their fake feeling on me. I am confused now.
I miss my family and HIM too. You know, I guess he have a new girlfriend. I suppose feel happy when I know he can live happily but I am not happy. But I am sad and angry. What he wrote on his status in facebook and some comment. He never wrote those things for me at all. Am I is a failed girlfriend? Or I am the worst girlfriend? I guess yes. I can't make him feel happy when with me. Because I am who I am. I can't be other else just because of you. I can't. I am sorry.... I can't be other and fake to you. I will feel guilty if I do so. But you all will never know. You will never who I am. Actually I just need someone to understand me. You just need understand me only. Is it too over for you? I am not cheerful person... I can't make anyone laugh. I am not the person but because I don't like you know my other side, so I had to pretend to be happy and always laugh. I read a lot of horoscope description. I am capricorn. And what they say that capricorn people is a person have full responsibility, workaholic, mature and so on. And also they mention that capricorn people don't like show off. About love, actually capricorn love to have a relationship but they are not dare to love other people. It's because they can't accept any hurting from their partner. Capricorn people is very serious about love. Once they get dating, they will do their best and give the best to their partner. They won't play with their love. That's why they scare to be hurt. It's really true. I scare to be hurt by my partner. I hate hear like ' I don't have any feeling on you' or ' how about we break up'.... So from now on, I am not dare to love other people... because I need a serious and mature guy that I can depending. Actually, you don't always see me so tough and not scare anything. Honestly, I am not strong like you think. In my world, I just a small girl that need to be loved by someone. Sometimes if i really get married, I willing to give up anything include my career and stay happily with my hubby. That is my dream..... <3 <3
I miss my family and HIM too. You know, I guess he have a new girlfriend. I suppose feel happy when I know he can live happily but I am not happy. But I am sad and angry. What he wrote on his status in facebook and some comment. He never wrote those things for me at all. Am I is a failed girlfriend? Or I am the worst girlfriend? I guess yes. I can't make him feel happy when with me. Because I am who I am. I can't be other else just because of you. I can't. I am sorry.... I can't be other and fake to you. I will feel guilty if I do so. But you all will never know. You will never who I am. Actually I just need someone to understand me. You just need understand me only. Is it too over for you? I am not cheerful person... I can't make anyone laugh. I am not the person but because I don't like you know my other side, so I had to pretend to be happy and always laugh. I read a lot of horoscope description. I am capricorn. And what they say that capricorn people is a person have full responsibility, workaholic, mature and so on. And also they mention that capricorn people don't like show off. About love, actually capricorn love to have a relationship but they are not dare to love other people. It's because they can't accept any hurting from their partner. Capricorn people is very serious about love. Once they get dating, they will do their best and give the best to their partner. They won't play with their love. That's why they scare to be hurt. It's really true. I scare to be hurt by my partner. I hate hear like ' I don't have any feeling on you' or ' how about we break up'.... So from now on, I am not dare to love other people... because I need a serious and mature guy that I can depending. Actually, you don't always see me so tough and not scare anything. Honestly, I am not strong like you think. In my world, I just a small girl that need to be loved by someone. Sometimes if i really get married, I willing to give up anything include my career and stay happily with my hubby. That is my dream..... <3 <3
