Saturday, May 2, 2009

my true feeling...

hihi... it's been quite long time i didnt blogging. actually i got many things wanna say to u all but i dont know where i should start. i want share my feeling with my friends but no one that i can trust. they just can be my ordinary friends but not best friends.. because they too fake.. i think... i really need a true friend that he or she will not pretend in front of me. maybe i too choosy but i wont change my mind. i will stand on my mind that i'm sure i will find my true friend..
by the way, just now i read his blog. i'm quite happy because he start blogging back. but i just know something that i dont know how i want convert the feeling. sad or happy or disappointed?? he say that he got new gf. actually i think we can start over but now i know i wont get the chance anymore. maybe we really dont have destiny. i think what happened at camp just a dream only. is already past... cant turn back. actually, i really want to dating but with my qualification, definitely really hard for me. i ady try my best to change myself but it's seem doesnt work at all. what's wrong with me?? i really dont know...
actually everytime i dating, i really scared especially when we have a date. i really dont have any confident because of my appearance. i feel shame ... shame at all. even i going out with my friends, i also felt like that... when i walking, i'm not dare to look other ppls coz i felt that they will laugh on me. i dont like that feeling.. but what i can do??? i hate myself... hate myself so much... but no one will understand me. no one!!!
today i really write too much ady.......................:-(

btw, today lee hom will be perform at bukit jalil. i really wanna go to his concert but i cant make it. maybe next time... next time sure i will go his concert.
wait me ya....

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