Happy new year 2013

Hi. It's been long time I did not update my blog. Happy New Year 2013 even though i know it's quite late. Hmm... no. It's very late.. Recently I was busy with my exam and I felt terrible with the exam so much. Honestly, I am so hate with exam. I think exam is ruining my life by wasting my time and i don't think it give me any benefit. ok. let's we don't talk about exam.
how about we talk what wish i list for this new year. First, I hope this new year I could find my love. I mean really true love. After the broke up, I had been single for 2 years. Actually, I want feel again being in love. I like the feeling being love by someone you trust. Everyday he will ask about you and care for you. He will always look after you and by your side when you need him so much. That's the feeling i want the most right now. I have been alone for so long time just because i still trust there are a guy is waiting for me. I put faith on it. I hope this year won't make me disappointed me again. Second, I hope I could make some money that enough for me to spend and treat my parents. I really hope I can gain money as much as possible so I can live in better life and give my parents good life too. I am 22 years old now but I still trap in what they said STUDENT LIFE! I hate being student. I don't want waste any time anymore. Third and final, I hope my family is stay healthy and safe all the time. I couldn't face any of my family is in danger or trouble. because I had been through 2 most painful and unforgettable incident that had took away my 2 dearest beloved people. They is my grandma and great-grandma. Every night I really hope I could see them in my dream. I still can feel the feeling that make me crying so badly. I miss them everyday.
that's all my wish list for this year 2013. I hope He could hear or see it. :)

Happy Birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU SIU MEI eventhough is late one day. Finally, you are 22 years old. I received a lot wishes from friends at facebook. But I don't know which 1 is sincere wishing me. On my birthday, I just goes through it like normal day. No cake and birthday song. Actually I really hope I can blow a candle on my birthday. I can't recall back when was my last time blowing candle. I mean is truly celebration from my family and close friends. I not even remember of it.

Final exam is coming soon. And like usual, I'm still in dreaming. anyway, I will try my best to answer my exam. Please... GOD bless me.

Finally, my wish for my birthday is I can get good result in my exam and hope I can meet my prince soon. That's all I wish for it. :)

.........

Why it is so difficult? I just want to live in simple life with simple happiness. Every friends is start avoiding me. They doesn't care about me anymore. There is still left 18 days before reach my birthday. This year, I still celebrate my birthday alone. I never expect very big celebration for me. I just wish I can have a simple dinner night with my family or close friends together with me. But I know it will never happen because they doesn't care about my everything. How I do can expect they will remember and celebrate my birthday. I am gonna step into 22 years old life. But I still feel I am doing nothing in my life for this long years. I am so sad and angry to myself. I start to give up.... I am really really really tired. I am tired. :(

想你

我还爱你。 你知道吗？我好好好好想你。。。

HAPPY DECEMBER!

Today is first day of December ( 1st December 2012). It is also last month for year 2012. Time really passed like a blink of eyes. Soon we will welcome a brand new year 2013 in 31 days left. I always ask myself. What I had done in my life in year 2012? Besides eat, sleep and play, what I have contribute to my life and society? I think nothing. Sometimes I really felt I am so useless person. I seen every of my friends is so successful in their life but I am still nothing. I already 22 year old and next year will be 23 years old. And I still don't know what I want. I am failure person.
This year Christmas, New Year and of course my Birthday, still celebrate alone by myself. Actually, I really want celebrate my birthday happily with my family and close friends. But I always don't have the chance to do it because I don't have close friends. I also want be like others hanging out with friends with fun, gossip-ing together, shopping together, flirting guys together... haha. I just don't have the chance. And I think I will never have the chance in my life.
I am so tired. I am tired to pretend someone who is not part of me. I want to be myself. I want to be Siu Mei again. I have been long time didn't have real laugh. I just want someone to comfort me and love me. I am still is a girl who have weak heart and fragile feeling. I also know how to cry. I am not strong as you think. :(
anyway, I hope this December month can make my wishes comes true. :) HAPPY DECEMBER!!

What is life?

What is life? I still trying to figure it out. Can I found my own life? :(