my future?

i feel miserable now.. i still don't know what i want now. sometimes when i think about what future i want to be, my mind will become blank. i can't see my future at all. can you tell me what should i do now? since i started studying at university, my future became more blured... i don't know the purpose i entered university. is it i really want become a manager in someday? or i really have talent in business field? i really dont know.... what i know now is i just want make me happy and free because i ady tied myself long time ago. i always forced myself to study because i don't want someday i become sales girls in shopping centre. i want prove to others that i can do it what i want. i won't let others look down on me!!! so how much i don't like to study, i also will graduate in good result. i want earn many many money.... that's only i want to do now.
by education, it's can guarantee your future....

help....

oh my god... i start miss him.. what the hell i'm doing right now? i already told myslef that we both is impossible will together but my mind still keep thinking of him. when i saw him on that day, i never said a word to him or looked at him. i don't know why.... i can't control my feeling to him. i think i start fancy on him... pls help me get rid of this feeling from me... i really can't fall in love on him... cannot.... siu mei... you and him won't be together 1 because he had girlfriend already.... so just let it go....

dream spoiled.....

this time i really broke down... how come i can't get the ptptn loan? so how i want to spend my 1st semester with my own money? i really can't afford it... what should i do now? i don't want use my mum money since she also not enough to use..... i haven't told her about this things. why this things will happen on me? that's not fair... are you really want me to learn how to be orang yang tahu berjimat? how i gonna spend my expense at here? tell me...... where i can find some money to use now? i really so desperate for money now...... please..... just give me some way to move okay.... i really need this money.... please........ T.T

boring day to goes...

hi.. i'm blogging again. today doesn't have any special things happen. it's just a normal and bored day to goes.... after the 1st class, i and my friends went to dataran perdana to register the squash club. it's took me about rm10 for register fees. luckily that time they don't have the shirt.. if not, i need to pay more rm20 again. after that, i went to class again.. in my life, this is my first time i attending class with listening to music for whole class. i never do that before. but it is because what the lecturer doesn't need to listen up. it's such a useless things to hear. after that, we go met with my other friends who are very like to talk... it's not my type. after for a while i decided to go back my hostel because it's too boring to me. when i arrived hostel, i went back to my room and changing. today evening i been slept for 2 hours where i think quite long time. when i wake up, then ready for dinner... eat again with them. sometimes i really can't tahan what they talk about. it's not my topic.... and now, start blogging at here and write crap at here...
after you read this post, do you think my life at here is wonderful or terrible? i can't decide it.... how about you tell me what is the answer?
wait for my next post...... :-(

i just want apply for loan... is it very difficult? why the ptptn so troublesome?? i really hate the government doing thing... not sistematic at all... damn it!!! just forget it..
now i really want back to my home... i miss my home so much... can anyone make the time pass more faster?? make it after 3 years.... so i can back to my home qucikly... i feel so alone at here. so lonely.... miss them so much.. :-(

hell

oh my god... what i'm doing now? i'm just like in HELL!!!!! i don't like this place at all.. i doesn't feel happy since i'm coming here... i don't like the environment at here, the people, the food and many many..... when i can back to normal life?? i don't want stay at this suck place longer anymore.... just get me out from here.... please...... :-(