dream spoiled.....

this time i really broke down... how come i can't get the ptptn loan? so how i want to spend my 1st semester with my own money? i really can't afford it... what should i do now? i don't want use my mum money since she also not enough to use..... i haven't told her about this things. why this things will happen on me? that's not fair... are you really want me to learn how to be orang yang tahu berjimat? how i gonna spend my expense at here? tell me...... where i can find some money to use now? i really so desperate for money now...... please..... just give me some way to move okay.... i really need this money.... please........ T.T