dating??

actually i also dont know what i want to write... my friend ask me to join her friends go to Taman Negara on next Monday... i really want go to this place for long time ady but i cant go. is all because financial problem. i dont hv much money to go because i really almost brankrupt jor.. even i got money, i also wont go 1 because i dont want go with them. i think you know why is it?? nevermind.. let me repeat again. it's because i dont like them so i dont want go with them. everytime is say that i dont hv money, why they are not believe me?? i dont know why la.. is my look seem like a have a lot money? i dont think so. so weird la.. haha.. XD actually these trip i still can go after my exam. so why i want so hurry want go. i'm not so stupid... is not worth if go now. maybe some say is worthy because got a lot friend accompany us and can play together. ya. i agree with that but hold on... if i wanna have fun in one trip, i would see i will go with who!! if them, definitely i will not comfortable because even i look at them one minutes, i will feel wanna vomit ady.. i really honest tell you that i really damn hate them a lot... i dont like see them even few second.. just left 5 months more then i can leave my stupid school and classmates... because of them, i cant enjoy my school life and i ady waste my 19 years old life.. i really so sad with that. from now on, i wont bother anything even they say i cruel or mean because i decide i dont want too close with them ady even my friend. they really influence a lot in my life and i feel regret because i knew them and treat as my friends once upon a time. i was so regret..... i tell to myself that i wont repeat my mistake anymore... i decide i want leave them. in my life, they already be deleted in my friends list... they are no more my friends.. for me, they just my passer by only. nothing relationship at all...
one of my friend ask me. "you already long time didnt go dating is it?". actually i took long time to reply him because i dont know how to answer. then i say "yala. where got guys want chase me." then he reply me back " how i know wor. maybe you got le and dont want tell us only. you want make it secret." let me tell you.. ya. i will make it secret because what for i tell everyone. but now i really dont have boyfriend and i also want meet a guy that can be my boyfriend. haha... but i know that's impossible la. why??
to be continued......
xoxo.. :-)

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hello everyone... i'm back blogging again. now i'm on holiday but i didnt feel any holiday feeling at all. i feel so bored, tired, anxious and sometimes i will feel so mad to everything surrounding me. i dont know why i will feel like that. i felt that recently i really less talking with my friends. is really seem not like me at all. if compare than before me, i like talking with my friends and always hang out with them but now no more ady. now i dont like going out with them and even talking. i dont want talking with them... i dont want. i dont know why i can change until like this. maybe now i ady grow up and know how to think what is bad and good till become me too choosy ady. why i say like that?? it's because now i too choose friends... i like choose whose will qualify become my friends... that's me now... maybe you all will think me too mean or bad but that is the truth. i cant change myself because of somebody. that's not me at all. i like being myself.. i dont like pretend but sometimes i have to.. why i need to be pretend? because i dont want my friends leave me because they dont like me... but sometimes some of my friends is really annoyed me.. i dont want mention who is he or she.. maybe now he or she is reading my blog. who knows... do you think now i'm talking crap at here?? maybe..
last week i just got my economic exam marks.. i really so dissapointed with my marks. but i can blame who?? me, teacher or else? can anyone tell me??? i really feel wanna cry.. sometimes i think i really failed in my life.. i mean i failed everything..
haizz... now i lazy to write ady... whatever... tata.. T.T