helpless

oh gosh... what am i doing now?? can anyone tell me? now my feeling just like enter a maze.. i seem like already so long inside the maze but i cant find the way out. nobody help me out from there. i really helpless... actually it's just like me now. i dont know what i want now. now just left 3 months only before my STPM exam. i really so scare that i will fail the exam. but i know this 3 months i still can change my life.. from now on, i will always telling to myself that "siu mei, you can do it. you can do well in your exam nor your life". ya... sure i can do it. good luck to you siu mei!!!!
next week i will be having my july test.. now i gonna go to do my revision.
just wish me good luck... :-)

sad sad sad

today i really so sad.... i got my MUET result in this morning. i expect to got Band 3 but i just got band 2 only. what i suppose to do now? now i just can reseat back the exam and get more good result... when i saw my result, i really get shocked. it's because i didnt expect that my speaking and listening will get so low marks... oh my god... why these things will happen on me?? i really cant accept it..
from now on, i really need more hardworking and i need to get good result in my STPM. if this time i fail my exam, that's mean i fail my life and no future in my life. i really dont want talk so much... just wish me good luck ya... ;-)

......

hello my blog... it's been long time i didnt write blog. it's because had something happened on me this recently. really a lot things happened... i also dont mentioned about it... let it pass...
monday i will get my MUET result.. i quite scare. but honestly, i really so scare. if i really get band 3, i already so happy. my STPM still got 3 months left... till noew i still havent start revision yet.. maybe got a bit. i really too lazy till i dont want study. what suppose i do now? please give me some guide... and now got one people always give me trouble. she really so mean and jerk... i really hope this year quickly pass it.. i really so suffering. because of studies, i already miss a lot of things... this year, what's come to me is sadness and hatred only. no else anymore. why i say like this?? it's all because.... something. i dont want say it.
oh my god... when i can finish my studies?? i really cant stand anymore. now what i hope is quickly finish my studies and of course get good result by the way. and also meet my partner life too... i know that's quite hard for me but i really put a lot of hope on it. so wish me good luck...
GOD bless me... thx..
:-)

dating??

actually i also dont know what i want to write... my friend ask me to join her friends go to Taman Negara on next Monday... i really want go to this place for long time ady but i cant go. is all because financial problem. i dont hv much money to go because i really almost brankrupt jor.. even i got money, i also wont go 1 because i dont want go with them. i think you know why is it?? nevermind.. let me repeat again. it's because i dont like them so i dont want go with them. everytime is say that i dont hv money, why they are not believe me?? i dont know why la.. is my look seem like a have a lot money? i dont think so. so weird la.. haha.. XD actually these trip i still can go after my exam. so why i want so hurry want go. i'm not so stupid... is not worth if go now. maybe some say is worthy because got a lot friend accompany us and can play together. ya. i agree with that but hold on... if i wanna have fun in one trip, i would see i will go with who!! if them, definitely i will not comfortable because even i look at them one minutes, i will feel wanna vomit ady.. i really honest tell you that i really damn hate them a lot... i dont like see them even few second.. just left 5 months more then i can leave my stupid school and classmates... because of them, i cant enjoy my school life and i ady waste my 19 years old life.. i really so sad with that. from now on, i wont bother anything even they say i cruel or mean because i decide i dont want too close with them ady even my friend. they really influence a lot in my life and i feel regret because i knew them and treat as my friends once upon a time. i was so regret..... i tell to myself that i wont repeat my mistake anymore... i decide i want leave them. in my life, they already be deleted in my friends list... they are no more my friends.. for me, they just my passer by only. nothing relationship at all...
one of my friend ask me. "you already long time didnt go dating is it?". actually i took long time to reply him because i dont know how to answer. then i say "yala. where got guys want chase me." then he reply me back " how i know wor. maybe you got le and dont want tell us only. you want make it secret." let me tell you.. ya. i will make it secret because what for i tell everyone. but now i really dont have boyfriend and i also want meet a guy that can be my boyfriend. haha... but i know that's impossible la. why??
to be continued......
xoxo.. :-)

............

hello everyone... i'm back blogging again. now i'm on holiday but i didnt feel any holiday feeling at all. i feel so bored, tired, anxious and sometimes i will feel so mad to everything surrounding me. i dont know why i will feel like that. i felt that recently i really less talking with my friends. is really seem not like me at all. if compare than before me, i like talking with my friends and always hang out with them but now no more ady. now i dont like going out with them and even talking. i dont want talking with them... i dont want. i dont know why i can change until like this. maybe now i ady grow up and know how to think what is bad and good till become me too choosy ady. why i say like that?? it's because now i too choose friends... i like choose whose will qualify become my friends... that's me now... maybe you all will think me too mean or bad but that is the truth. i cant change myself because of somebody. that's not me at all. i like being myself.. i dont like pretend but sometimes i have to.. why i need to be pretend? because i dont want my friends leave me because they dont like me... but sometimes some of my friends is really annoyed me.. i dont want mention who is he or she.. maybe now he or she is reading my blog. who knows... do you think now i'm talking crap at here?? maybe..
last week i just got my economic exam marks.. i really so dissapointed with my marks. but i can blame who?? me, teacher or else? can anyone tell me??? i really feel wanna cry.. sometimes i think i really failed in my life.. i mean i failed everything..
haizz... now i lazy to write ady... whatever... tata.. T.T

exam

hihi... recently i really busy with my exam.. really so hard and suffer.. so i wont blogging this few day coz i want doing my revision... so, take care...
bye... :-)