F**K YOU

why they want me mention again about that things? i already try to avoid from answering his question... why he still want me say it out? and let others know my past... i really terrible sad when i say it out. i know that wont any guys anymore say that words to me. i know it... actually, i'm really desire to hear that words again. you know, how happily the girls if some guys tell her that words. yea i know i wont find any guys that really like and love me. i mean maybe i cant find boyfriend again... i know myself. im not dare to love someone... that's my weaknesses.... but doesnt they need say like that? it's really hurt me... they just think it's just a jokes... but did you know, what you say from your mind, it's really your true words. that is how you looking to me. if not, you wont say like that to me. have you been think before when you say something? you really think i'm not care about it? you think you put the picture i'm not hurt? you are humiliating me now!!!! what you mean now i cant find any boyfriend anymore!!! dont you get it? i thought you can care someone feeling but i was wrong. u're not the guys that i can trust and respect. i'm deeply disappointed with you. i really don't know how i can face to you again. i also is a girls...... you think i want what i look now??? you all will never know what i'm thinking.... what i want... all i can do is just pretend nothing happen and be happy in front of you all... this time you really hurt me badly badly~~~ T.T

what i am doing right now? sitting in front of computer and doing nothing... exam is just around the corner and i still haven't read or revise any book yet. am i will fail? am i is a fail person? i think i am... i never did anythings well as i wish for... never in my life. what i wish for never become true. why YOU treat me like this? i just want a normal normal life... is it very difficult? i want someone to care to me... forget it. i just don't want think back the past who is changed my whole person.
i don't write so much... it's so painful to me when i talk about it....

hi... quite long time i didnt write this blog... recently i really dont know what i'm doing now. the hatred feeling to this stupid jungle and friend at here is more deep... i really so suffer at here... i want back KL now!!!! now i start realize that i cant be friend with them bcoz their personality is not match with me at all. they are so childish and immature. they like do something that they think very fun but what i think is so shameful.... i really dont know what the hell they are thinking... are their brain full with shit?? forget it... i dont want mention them....
i dont know what i need to write already... i better stop here... T.T

my future?

i feel miserable now.. i still don't know what i want now. sometimes when i think about what future i want to be, my mind will become blank. i can't see my future at all. can you tell me what should i do now? since i started studying at university, my future became more blured... i don't know the purpose i entered university. is it i really want become a manager in someday? or i really have talent in business field? i really dont know.... what i know now is i just want make me happy and free because i ady tied myself long time ago. i always forced myself to study because i don't want someday i become sales girls in shopping centre. i want prove to others that i can do it what i want. i won't let others look down on me!!! so how much i don't like to study, i also will graduate in good result. i want earn many many money.... that's only i want to do now.
by education, it's can guarantee your future....

help....

oh my god... i start miss him.. what the hell i'm doing right now? i already told myslef that we both is impossible will together but my mind still keep thinking of him. when i saw him on that day, i never said a word to him or looked at him. i don't know why.... i can't control my feeling to him. i think i start fancy on him... pls help me get rid of this feeling from me... i really can't fall in love on him... cannot.... siu mei... you and him won't be together 1 because he had girlfriend already.... so just let it go....

dream spoiled.....

this time i really broke down... how come i can't get the ptptn loan? so how i want to spend my 1st semester with my own money? i really can't afford it... what should i do now? i don't want use my mum money since she also not enough to use..... i haven't told her about this things. why this things will happen on me? that's not fair... are you really want me to learn how to be orang yang tahu berjimat? how i gonna spend my expense at here? tell me...... where i can find some money to use now? i really so desperate for money now...... please..... just give me some way to move okay.... i really need this money.... please........ T.T